Friday, November 6, 2009

The Customer is Always Right......or Not!

Ahha I just had to share this site with you guys! It's hilarious! I have LOL'd on many occasion, not realizing that there were others around me, but I couldn't care less. You know the motto "The Customer is Always Right"? After reading some of the stories found on this site, will make you wonder what the person who came up with that phrase was smoking! It seriously makes you look twice at the people you encounter who serve you your coffee or help you out in a store.

The site is called Not Always Right, and here are some funny stories:


(A guy comes into my register with a pretty standard basket of groceries.)

Me: “Sir, did you only get one pint of Ben and Jerry’s?”

Customer: “Why?”

Me: “Well, it’s ‘Buy one, Get one free’ this week.”

Customer: “Hold on.” *runs off and returns a minute later with 9 more pints*

Me: “You must really like Ben and Jerry’s, huh?”

Customer: “I have a pregnant wife.”



Customer: “Can I have the breakfast sandwich without tomato, please?”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but the sandwich is pre-made. You can just take the tomato off it, if you want.”

Customer: “No! I’m extremely allergic to tomatoes. That could kill me!”

Me: “Well, if you want to wait five minutes or so, I’ll make you one special without tomatoes.”

Customer: “That would be great.”

(I go to the kitchen, wash everything that might have touched a tomato, and make the guy a sandwich. I come back out and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Thanks. You got any ketchup?”



(I work in a check-out lane at a grocery store. A boy who looks about 16 walks up to the check-out and puts a twelve pack of beer on the lane.)

Me: “May I see your ID?”

Customer: “Who do you think you are, a cop? No!”

Me: “If you want to purchase these, I need to see your ID. You don’t exactly look over 21.”

Customer: “Fine, b****!”

(He then hands me his ID, which has a picture of an elderly man on it.)

Me: “Sorry, you can’t buy these.”

Customer: “What the h***! I just gave you my ID!”

Me: “This ID belongs to an elderly man who has a gray mustache and beard.”

Customer: “It’s called Botox and shaving.”



Me: “Okay, would you like the cake to say anything?”

Customer: “Like what?”

Me: “Happy Birthday? Happy Tenth Birthday?”

Customer: “Oh! Well, if you could teach it to sing ‘Happy Birthday,’ that would be great!”

(I think the customer is joking, so I write “Happy Birthday” on the cake as usual. Later on, the customer calls in complaining that his cake didn’t sing when the candles were lit!)


(I have a tattoo on my foot of a vine of ivy. Usually, I hide it with my socks and shoes while working, but one day they get wet on the playground so I take them off to keep from getting blisters. While I’m changing shoes, a child notices the tattoo.)

Child: “Oh! What’s that?”

Me: “It’s a tattoo, it’s like a permanent drawing on your skin you can get when your 18.”

Child: “Can I touch it?”

Me: “Sure, it just feels like skin.”

(Several kids come over to touch my tattoo. A mother walks in.)

Mother: “Is that a tattoo?”

Me: “Yes.”

Mother: “You should be ashamed! You are setting a bad example for these children! That could be a gang symbol or related to drugs like marijuana!”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s just ivy.”

Mother: “What?! I don’t know anything about your drug symbols. This is highly unprofessional and I will be speaking to your boss! Advocating drugs like this!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Next time I’ll be sure to hide my tattoo, but I assure you it has nothing to do with drugs or any illegal behavior.”

Mother: “You’d better! I can’t believe you would be allowed to work with kids!”

(The mother bends over to pick up daughter, and I see a pair of dolphins tattooed very low on her back–AKA a “tramp stamp”. It’s visible just above her thong and low rise jeans. Rightly or wrongly, these tattoos often have a negative connotation.)

Me: “Nice dolphins.”

Mother: “I’m an adult! Don’t you judge me!”

2 comments:

Robin Hartman said...

That's hilarious about the tattoo! I have two myself and I worry that, even though I teach college, someone will get offended. I teach at a Christian college and I have one very large tattoo across my back but no one ever really sees it under my blazer. I'd like to see someone get upset at an adult with Mary and Jesus tattoo though. What an interesting conversation that would be.

Tiffani said...

These are hilarious! I used to work in a restaurant and defnitely came across some funny id stories!